The profile on my Twitter page reads “travel bandit.” Let me
explain this if I haven’t already. Whenever I have the opportunity to travel, I
try to take advantage. If I have a 3 or 4-day weekend, I’m packing and going. My thought process is that I'm creating travel out of an everyday schedule - and it feels like I'm practically stealing. That’s what “travel bandit” means. I also rob people on vacation, but that’s
another story.
"Percy Jackson" in-flight movie? C'mon man.
I found out I miraculously had unused vacation days and was
looking to go somewhere for New Year’s. I was talking with my usual travel
companion/victim, Pete, and we thought about snowboarding in Tahoe. Turns out,
going to SF and Tahoe for 5 days would cost comparatively to going to
Switzerland. That’s crazy. So I threw out the idea of going to Switzerland.
Stop looking at me, swan!
This looks Swiss.
For many who grew up in Orange County, there’s a strange
connection to Switzerland because of Disneyland’s Matterhorn Mountain. You see
the tip of the mountain from the freeway, you’ve ridden the bobsleds countless
times, you’ve eaten at the churro stand next to the ride, you’ve even memorized
the ride’s security announcement in two languages: “Remain seated, please.
Permanecer sentados, por favor.” The thought of snowboarding down the real
Matterhorn was too good to pass up. Pete and I and two more friends crunched
some numbers, and low and behold, we were going to get our hot chocolate on.
Just like Anaheim
Since it was relatively last minute, we were going to do
everything as budget-friendly as possible. We would fly into Zurich, then train
to Zermatt. Hotels in Zurich are strangely cheap, so that was easy. Zermatt,
however, would prove to be a challenge. The entire town, which is only
accessible via train – you can’t drive there, was booked according to the
interwebs. So we used airbnb.com, which is where people rent out their own
homes and apartments for people to stay. We found a small spot in Zermatt that
turned out to be perfect – and at a great price. If you ever need a place to
stay on a budget – try this dude, Simon Gerber.
Simon Gerber not pictured here.
Anyway, I flew into Zurich early in the morning, everyone
else was going to get there in the late afternoon, so I had the day to myself.
The first thing I noticed at the airport is the terminal tram, which has the
sounds of farm animals and cows mooing. It’s fricking awesome!
When traveling in Switzerland, if you’re trying to save
cash, public transportation is the way to go. No need for rental cars or taxis.
Buses and trains will take you everywhere on the cheap, which pays off later
when you realize a Big Mac meal at McDonalds will cost you around $14 US. Who
drops that kind of coin at McDonalds outside of a family of 8? Now I’m not one
to advocate hopping on trams and not paying, but no one ever checked the myriad
tram tickets I purchased. I don’t know the punishment for stowaways, maybe it’s
buying a Big Mac meal at McDonalds.
Toblerone McFlurry? Intriguing.
This totally looks like Europe. Wait a minute...
Selfie Time!
That's stuff in Zurich. Famous? Who knows?!
Zurich’s a cool town to stroll around, but you don’t need
that much time. There’s a massive shopping at Bahnhofstrasse, which is a Euro
version of 5th Avenue combined with South Coast Plaza. The best
place to hang is Old Town, or Altstadt. The Limmat river cuts through the town
into Lake Zurich. There’s a famous church, Grossmunster. I don’t know what
makes it famous, but apparently it is. I signed the welcome book, so that makes
it famous since I’m such a big deal! #Nope There’s another church called the
Fraumunster that features stained glass windows by Marc Chagall. You can also catch some of Chagalls work
at the Kunsthaus, not to be confused with Kunsthalle - both of which you should be careful about pronouncing.
I got mad hops in Bahnofstrasse. #AdvilTakenShortlyAfter
Something in Bahnofstrasse
Grossmunster. Those two punctuation dots are supposed to go over the "u."
Fancy #CuzTheresAnAngle
The Kunsthaus is my first European art museum, and it’s way
sweet. I love strolling through museums but I’m very much a celebrity-boffer
when it comes to art. It’s all about the big names for me since I don’t really
understand what I’m looking at. If Picasso and Joe Schmo painted something that
looked exactly the same, I’d only care about the Picasso. This being said, when
I stroll through many American museums, I only see one or two Monets (my fave),
Van Goghs, etc. The Kunsthaus, which no one confuses with the Louvre, had
boatloads of all the big names – Picassos, Van Goghs, Monets, Miros, even a
Warhol. The featured exhibit was for Edvard Munch, famous from “The Scream,”
not to be confused with the movie where Drew Barrymore died in the first 10
minutes. I took a bunch of pictures with my iPhone and no one seemed to stop
me. So that added to the coolness of the museum, but I’m pretty sure that
wasn’t kosher. Whatever, I’m a dumb American tourist.
Edvard Munch Selfie
Sketch of "The Scream"
I swear this is Iron Man.
I think I've been reading to much "GQ" - but I liked these.
I think all these paintings are upside down. There's a woman in the middle. Why are they all upside down, Kunsthaus?
Warhol
Picasso
I dig Picasso's autograph
Picasso is all up in this joint.
Monet
More Monet
Love Van Gogh's colors.
When everyone met up, we planned to head to Old
Town, but got lost and ended up at Shamrock Irish Pub, which had trivia night. Let
me tell you, we did not help America’s international reputation. Predicting that we would be
horrible at Switzerland trivia, our team name was the “American Wankers.” We
were terrible and the questions weren't even Swiss-centric but international.
“Milwaukee Brewers” was an answer to one question so that was good. The owner
saw how poorly we were doing, and even fed us some answers, but we were
confused which questions the answers were for. Was Columbo the capital of Sri
Lanka or the name of the rocket that went to the moon? (It’s Sri Lanka’s
capital. Saturn 5 is the rocket. We know that now.) Any how, if the locals that
were in the bar were curious about American knowledge or ethnocentrism, they
got a most unfortunate answer: we’re wankers.
I feel so ignorant.
Open square in Old Town. Opera House is to the right. Clouds above. You're welcome.
I missed the zoo. :(
Drink/eat: Santa Lucia – Italian chain, delicious Zurich fish soup,
very salty. Good carpaccio (is there bad carpaccio?). Too expensive for price.
Poor service.
Capraccio.
Shamrock Irish Pub – good curry meat pie, friendly clientele.
Pub fare.
Ahhh, look who's all tuckered out?
Obligatory Pete pass out pic. #WhatMyBlogDoesForReaders
Coming up next: Zermatt NYE celebration, snowboarding the Matterhorn, and T-bar hatred.
"I had the shot. There was no danger. So I took it."
Taken when all electronics were supposed to be off.
Happy plane didn't explode as byproduct.
"You took it. And broke a major rule of engagement."
Lt. Pete "Maverick" Mitchell's defense for firing on another F-14 during a training exercise seemed to be the exact sentiment I felt before absconding to Australia late February. I found myself with some extra time off during the usual no-fly zone sweeps period; so I e-mailed my sister, a quasi-professional world traveler, listed about 10 countries I was interested in visiting, and asked if she knew of any websites for last-minute deals. As it were, the world traveler tells me she's going to practically half the list I provided (which included Australia and Thailand), and if I end up going to Australia, I wouldn't have to pay any lodging.
Done! I didn't (couldn't, shouldn't, whatever) want to take too much time off, so I scheduled a quick 9-day trip (two nights spent on a plane) to Sydney for 4-and-a-half days, then to Cairns (and the Great Barrier Reef) for another two days. The cost of the plane ticket was a couple hundred dollars more than I wanted to pay, but over the course of a week I spent debating this trip, I psyched myself up too much and I knew if I didn't book, I'd regret it. Stupid carpe diem attitude!! It's costly when you've got a travel epidemic.
Fancy, huh?
I flew Virgin Australia (and earned Delta SkyMiles) and it's one of the best airlines I've ever flown. Hip neon colors, roomy seating, incredible on-demand entertainment selection. Unfortunately, I wasted much of the 15-hr flight watching the unfit-for-public-viewing "Cowboys and Aliens" and "Transformers 3." The other bummer was they asked me where I'd like to sit, and I told them window towards the front of the plane. At the check-in counter, the woman told me I'm in luck and there's a seat in the second row in coach. Score. Little did I know, that entire front row is for parents with babies, including changing stations. Damn you, Scuba Steve!!! Eight hours of the flight I felt like I was in the customer service section of Babies-R-Us. #NotReadyToBeADaddy
I got into Sydney around 7:30am, took the light rail to my sister's hotel, the ParkRoyal near Darling Harbour, and after a quick shower, we headed through Hyde Park (which looks like Central Park to me, but don't most big parks tend to look similar?) to the NSW (New South Wales - I kept having this urge to call it North Southwest) Gallery where there was an extensive Picasso exhibit on loan from Paris. For the life of me, I don't understand what I'm looking at with Picassos. Don't get me wrong, I'm crazy impressed and his wide range of artistic endeavors is genius, but when it comes to interpreting some of his surrealistic paintings of women, I can make out boobs and that's about it. And what's with his infatuation with minotaurs? He would've loved "Role Models."
Figures Au Bord De La Mer
After perusing the museum, my sister headed off to work, while I walked along the gorgeous Sydney Harbor. There's a famous lookout point called Mrs. Macquarie's Chair, which was carved out of a rock. It overlooks the Opera House and the Sydney Harbour Bridge. As I walked along the trails, I quickly noticed everyone stays on the left side of the road as opposed to the right. Cuckoo!! The bridge and Opera House are in a neighborhood called Circular Quay.
MacQuarie's Chair... without the chair!
Tebow!
The Opera House is pretty sweet; I was hoping to catch a show of Carrot Top there, but apparently he's not on the schedule there for the next couple millenia. There are some Aboriginal Australians playing didgeridoos on the street in tourist spots in this area. I wanted to take a picture but felt it might be uncool. Plus, I'd seen these guys in "Crocodile Dundee."
That guy was tall
Not to be confused w/Bridge to Terabithia
As I passed through a historic part of town called The Rocks on the way to the bridge, I ran into a guy wearing a KTLA hat. We bonded over our LA and TV connections; then he grabbed my bum and I shanked him. (This did not happen.) After walking the bridge, I headed towards the Sydney Aquarium, which I figured could be one of the world's best. If you ever do this, be sure to buy tickets online because it's 50% off. The aquarium is in Darling Harbour, which looks like its 20 miles away according to city maps, but really just 2-3 miles. I challenge anyone to find a Sydney map that's drawn to scale. Impossible.
Shark
People looking at shark
Unnecessary movies
The aquarium had some good stuff: platypussies (is that not correct?), penguins, long-necked turtles, various sharks, sting rays, and a strange DVD section in the souvenir shop with oceanic classics "Ghostbusters" and "When Harry Met Sally." Honestly, has anyone purchased a non-sea-related movie at an aquarium gift shop??? Who does that? "Hey honey, I loved the penguin exhibit. Now let's buy 'Black Hawk Down'!"
100-year egg
Xiao long bao
I took my sister out to a famous Chinese dumping restaurant that night, Din Tai Fun. I guess there's 5 or 6 in the world. They have excellent xiao long bao. I also got some century old egg, apparently not quite as old as the thousand-year-old egg my family normally calls these dark-colored eggs. The eggs may have lead, so they're not particularly healthy, but served on top of cold tofu it's quite refreshing; and an excellent complement to the dumplings and my Cascade Premium Light, an Aussie lager that tastes like butt.
Not real bird
Not in Whistler
We capped off the night by walking along the Darling Harbour, a nice spot that's been revamped to bring in tourists, but quiet considering it was a Monday night.
