Say this about northeast winters, they're quite motivating. Even though this past East Coast winter was atypically warm, by the time April rolls around and you haven't seen all a full sun in six months and your pigmentation looks like the middle of an Oreo, you get quite motivated to find a beach.
Debating on destinations for a quick weekend trip is always a process. My girlfriend, Mindy, and I settled on Jamaica because it checked all the items on her list: hot weather, nice beach, exotic, all-inclusive, cost-efficient, adults only, and good food. It hit my checklist, too: new passport stamp.
This was my first all-inclusive resort. If you've read any of these blogs before, you know I am typically not a fan of the stay-in-one-place-for-the-whole-trip because it takes away from local exploration. I was concerned I'd get antsy staying in one place. To quote some Bob Marley songs (you'll hear more Marley in Jamaica than in a freshmen dorm at a Colorado art school), I was going into the all-inclusive with "Positive Vibration," but it did not "Satisfy My Soul"....
This is a not so glamorous shot of the main area at Couples Negril. There's a large pool in the center of the resort, accompanied by pool bar. The clientele averaged late 40's. That's my superficial guest.
So alcohol is obviously one of the big reasons why people do all-inclusive, and before you arrive you can fill out a form of what types of alcohol you want in your room. We just started checking off boxes thinking they'd be small airplane-sized bottles. We were wrong. Considering there's alcohol everywhere else at the resort - all this booze was practically untouched. Practically because we took a shot of Lord Kingsley, the local rum. Realizing that tastes like doo doo, the rest was left alone. I'd like to think ten years ago we would've destroyed this. Not that I condone drinking alcohol.
Jamaican Jerk burger or something. I don't remember. Mainly because it didn't taste memorable. But it made the blog because it's the first thing I ate. #CoolStoryBro
First sunset. Not bad.
No filter. Every night the sunsets were spectacular.
When we arrived it was overcast with the occasional drizzle. Mindy needed some serious R&R, I needed some serious wandering time. My lack of attention span hits overdrive when I'm on vacation. I can only sit and read GQ for so long. Justin Bieber being on the cover didn't help. #ButHeDoesHaveSomeGoodNewSongs
Still, it's nice to float around in the ocean. High salt content in case you're wondering. Don't go around swimming with your eyes open.
One of the best things about Couples Negril, and why we chose them, was that they offered several free activities, which includes paddleboarding. Mindy had never gone, but she was a natural. This was able to diffuse my restlessness for a few hours.
Then it was back to the beach. This is technically not Seven Mile Beach, Jamaica's famous beach, but instead the private beach attached to Couples Negril. There was a nude beach right next to us. We almost went. #Almost
There was also kayaking available for free. We jumped off and went for a nice swim and float. Mindy promptly lost her sunglasses. On the bright side, the water was warm. Oh wait - everything was bright for Mindy because she didn't have sunglasses. Ha!
So kayaking allowed for this.
Add "hammocking" allowed for wakeboarding. Problem with the wake rides were that they were so short. There was never a line to sign up, in fact, there wasn't really a line for any of the activities. I was surprised at how few people took advantage of these water activities. Everyone was busy reading the next Agatha Christie novel. #ThatWasAnAgeJoke
Each ride was so short. They'd drive up the coast a few football fields, then just turn around. Let me go longer if nobody's in line!
Tried our hand at sailing these tiny Hobie cats. I've been sailing a few times before and know that I'm not good at it. Trying to judge and control the boat with wind is a doomed outcome for me. I tried kitesurfing very briefly in Belize (check the blog!) and immediately knew I sucked. This was no different. The picture isn't the closest, but you can tell how bored Mindy is. We were going like 5 mph. Granted, the dude warned us not to go to the left otherwise it would take us hours to come back in. That was not a risk I was willing to take.
This was not a pose. This was a candid still from the ridiculousness of what shitty sailors Mindy and I are. Okay fine. How shitty a sailor I am. Whatever. Check out the GoPro video at the bottom.
And pause for green smoothies. As mentioned before, the food and drink here was pretty legit. This smoothie felt great for my system considering the other garbage I was stuffing into my body over the course of the trip.
We also went on a snorkel tour about a quick 15-minute boat ride away from the resort. The coral was nice. This is the most action-packed picture I got... which is super amazing if you like yellow fish with blue eyes.
Also included on the tour is a sunset catamaran tour you take to some cliffs about a 30-minute ride away. Of course, there's a bar on the boat...
AND A SLIDE!!!
A cave you can swim into.
The only excursion we purchased was a ride to Rick's Cafe, a famous local tourist spot renown for cliff jumping. Y'all know I had to do that.
The cliff is about 40-feet. They suggest you tip a couple dollars before jumping, but it's not something they monitor very closely. After jumping into the water though, there's a couple con artists down at the bottom that suggest you take a swim into the cave to check out some cool shit. To quote Admiral Akbar, "It's a trap!" They corner you there and force you to pay money to get back out. Not cool, fellas.
Solid crowd for solid view.
Q: What do you think this is?
A: Whatever you say is right! #CuzIDontRemember
Do you want to play another round???
Much respect to the bobsled team paraphernalia all over the airport, including a Bobsled Team restaurant which has "Cool Runnings" continuously on loop. How tired of the movie would you get? Never! Doug E. Doug was the shizzle! "Jamaica... we have a bobsled team!"
Ain't no "water" around here.
I tried to avoid having too many couples photos that would make you want to vomit, but alas, this seemed like a perfect ending. Here's my deal with the all-inclusive - you can try to make it as active as possible, but you really are still going to be trapped at the resort for most of the time, unless you start taking all these excursions. But if you're spending all this cash on excursions - why are you doing the all-inclusive? We packed in as much activity as possible - beach and pool volleyball not pictured - but it still felt like I was on a cruise that was stationary. I much prefer the freedom to roam where you please. That said, if I were to be stuck at any resort at any location - I can certainly think of worse places to be than Negril. The company didn't hurt...
GoPro Video link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=066CHkd2xYk
I got a travel problem. A friend invited me to head out to the Dominican Republic for a relatively last minute trip. She would be attending a film festival, but had a free place to stay and knows I have an impulsive travel addiction. What I didn't have was any additional vacation days to use, so the trip would only be for a weekend. Would that be worth it? Probably not as I'd have to travel after work on Thursday, then leave Saturday night to be back at work Sunday. I'd never been to the DR, but if you factor in travel time, I'd be there for around 36 hours.
Lo and behold… I ended up working a 6-day week, earned a comp day, and could apply it to this trip. 60 hours is a different ballgame! I'm in. Fly out of New York late Wednesday, fly back Saturday afternoon. Done.
The hotel I stayed in Santo Domingo was the Occidental El Embajador, and had several scenes from "The Godfather Part II shot there (pretending to be Cuba). I didn't see Al Pacino there. But I did see prostitutes. And I'm not talking about Pacino's turn in the Adam Sandler movie "Jack and Jill."
What I didn't realize was that this film festival was in Santo Domingo, which is the country's capital and very metropolitan. I was told there's a significant amount of crime in the city and its one of the most dangerous cities to drive in. No disrespect to the city of Santo Domingo, but there's no way in hell I was about to fly out there for just a couple days to sit in a city (even though there are some places to check out like Christopher Columbus' burial site in the Colonial Zone). If I was going to the DR - I needed to see some beach.
As I researched where I wanted to go and what I wanted to do, everything pointed to the northern part of the island. There's a nice surfing area called Playa Encuentro near Puerto Plata, but even more thrilling - a place to jump off 27 f'n waterfalls called Damajagua! I had to do that. Problem is the only way I can get there without renting a car (which turned out to be way too gnarly) is taking a 4.5-hour public bus ride. That would mean spending around 9 hours - on an already short trip - sitting on a bus. Nobody wants to sit on a bus that long except Otto from the Simpsons, but 2 days of chilling with Columbus' remains didn't sound that enticing. Hello bus.
After landing in DR and getting to the hotel around 12:30a, we woke up around 5:45 and walked a couple blocks to the Metro bus station to hop on a 7a bus to Sosua (which left around 7:30a because you're dealing with Island Time). The buses are like tour buses and totally safe and nice. Best of all, it only cost around $9 US to travel to the entire other side of the country! In Sosua, we hopped in a cab to Playa Encuentro, which I pictured to be a small surf beach with a boardwalk and maybe a couple surf shops and restaurants. Nah bruh. It was just this. Empty beach with a couple huts that act as surf shops.
More dogs than people at this beach.
Fortunately there was one place that cooked food in this Corona commercial gone haywire, Club Mendi. They also had wifi, which was great because we just booked a last minute AirBnb spot and didn't know how we were going to get picked up or what the place's address was (sometimes this is how I travel). I would definitely not call Mendi a club, nor a restaurant. It was more of a grill. But holy shit could they grill! They didn't speak much English, so I ordered some fish that was allegedly indigenous to the area. I thought I asked if it had bones (which would deter me), but who the hell knows what I said, because the fish came out whole with a shit ton of bones. It was completely fried and completely delicious. Normally I'd be so frustrated with the bones that I wouldn't enjoy it, but it was perfectly spiced and salted that I tore through it like the sound of velcro. Naturally, I topped it with a Presidente, the island's beer of choice.
There's no swimming allowed because it's all reef in the area and you'd get cut up. There's also no life guards, unless those sleeping dogs miraculously wake up and save your drowning ass.
Rented a longboard for $20 US/day
Conditions weren't great. Wind-blown and choppy, so it didn't make for many rides. Also, the paddle out was draining enough that I ended up just riding whitewash. You definitely have to be careful getting off the board as it's all reef next to the shore. I haven't really surfed in quite awhile - and I'm not very good to begin with, so that's a pretty solid combo.
I couldn't stop playing fetch with this guy. He loves the water so much. One of the dudes at the grill told me I'd make a friend for life if I threw a stick into the water. He was correct. Then I attached a GoPro to the branch, and started throwing that, hoping to get a cool perspective of fetch. It was just okay.
See you later, Encuentro. #AndByThatIMeanIHighlyDoubtIWillEverBeThereAgain
So after a few hours chilling in Encuentro, we went to Sosua to dive/snorkel. My friend, Angela, is a hard core diver, but I'm just a snorkeler. We went through an outfitter called Aqua Adventures (http://www.scubadivesosua.com). It was around $50 for the dive and $25 to snorkel. I contemplated diving again, but on the drive over I had another President and the dude's wouldn't let me dive. It was for the best I think. So here's a snorkel trick in the DR (don't know if it applies everywhere), but if you bring pieces of banana and crush it up in your hands, the fish flock to it! That's what in the water bottle.
This is a ray. Angela took it with her GoPro. That's all I got.
Apparently this dude has never heard of Steve Irwin.
Photobomb time...
The area we were in is called 3 Rocks. As snorkeling goes, it's only mediocre. There isn't a tremendous amount of visibility, even though it was a relatively clear day. Perhaps because it was around 5p. I did see an octopus - you'll see a crappy shot of it in the video below. Angela saw a lobster, sting ray, eel, much more cool stuff than I.
Sosua Beach.
G'bye Sosua.
We booked a 2-bedroom villa with kitchen, living room in Cabarete… for just $50! AirBnb is the best!
Dinner at Papi's, a seafood place on the sand where we got ceviche, a lobster skillet with spaghetti, crab cakes, and mama juanas - a local liquor. Tipping at restaurants isn't necessary as tips are included.
Lobster skillet. Not too shabby.
This is the main street in Cabarete; the city centre as it's called. Looks quiet. And on the street it is.
But on the other side, there's a strip of clubs, bars, restaurants, people even playing volleyball. It's a very deceptive scene from the street.
We got a carafe of mojito at the Lazy Dog Beach Bar, where we were accosted by a pushy henna tattoo "artist." By "henna," I mean "Sharpie." I tried to drink my mojito as quickly as possible to avoid consuming any melted ice and shady water. Eating ice left me with an unplanned cleanse after my last trip to Mexico. Apparently I have a sensitive tummy.
Another look at the Cabarete strip. It was quiet on Thursday night. Everything open, and also mostly empty. I imagine it's a Friday, Saturday type of town.
Video: Next: Waterfall and cliff jumping with Iguana Mama.
