Say this about northeast winters, they're quite motivating. Even though this past East Coast winter was atypically warm, by the time April rolls around and you haven't seen all a full sun in six months and your pigmentation looks like the middle of an Oreo, you get quite motivated to find a beach.
Debating on destinations for a quick weekend trip is always a process. My girlfriend, Mindy, and I settled on Jamaica because it checked all the items on her list: hot weather, nice beach, exotic, all-inclusive, cost-efficient, adults only, and good food. It hit my checklist, too: new passport stamp.
This was my first all-inclusive resort. If you've read any of these blogs before, you know I am typically not a fan of the stay-in-one-place-for-the-whole-trip because it takes away from local exploration. I was concerned I'd get antsy staying in one place. To quote some Bob Marley songs (you'll hear more Marley in Jamaica than in a freshmen dorm at a Colorado art school), I was going into the all-inclusive with "Positive Vibration," but it did not "Satisfy My Soul"....
This is a not so glamorous shot of the main area at Couples Negril. There's a large pool in the center of the resort, accompanied by pool bar. The clientele averaged late 40's. That's my superficial guest.
So alcohol is obviously one of the big reasons why people do all-inclusive, and before you arrive you can fill out a form of what types of alcohol you want in your room. We just started checking off boxes thinking they'd be small airplane-sized bottles. We were wrong. Considering there's alcohol everywhere else at the resort - all this booze was practically untouched. Practically because we took a shot of Lord Kingsley, the local rum. Realizing that tastes like doo doo, the rest was left alone. I'd like to think ten years ago we would've destroyed this. Not that I condone drinking alcohol.
Jamaican Jerk burger or something. I don't remember. Mainly because it didn't taste memorable. But it made the blog because it's the first thing I ate. #CoolStoryBro
First sunset. Not bad.
No filter. Every night the sunsets were spectacular.
When we arrived it was overcast with the occasional drizzle. Mindy needed some serious R&R, I needed some serious wandering time. My lack of attention span hits overdrive when I'm on vacation. I can only sit and read GQ for so long. Justin Bieber being on the cover didn't help. #ButHeDoesHaveSomeGoodNewSongs
Still, it's nice to float around in the ocean. High salt content in case you're wondering. Don't go around swimming with your eyes open.
One of the best things about Couples Negril, and why we chose them, was that they offered several free activities, which includes paddleboarding. Mindy had never gone, but she was a natural. This was able to diffuse my restlessness for a few hours.
Then it was back to the beach. This is technically not Seven Mile Beach, Jamaica's famous beach, but instead the private beach attached to Couples Negril. There was a nude beach right next to us. We almost went. #Almost
There was also kayaking available for free. We jumped off and went for a nice swim and float. Mindy promptly lost her sunglasses. On the bright side, the water was warm. Oh wait - everything was bright for Mindy because she didn't have sunglasses. Ha!
So kayaking allowed for this.
Add "hammocking" allowed for wakeboarding. Problem with the wake rides were that they were so short. There was never a line to sign up, in fact, there wasn't really a line for any of the activities. I was surprised at how few people took advantage of these water activities. Everyone was busy reading the next Agatha Christie novel. #ThatWasAnAgeJoke
Each ride was so short. They'd drive up the coast a few football fields, then just turn around. Let me go longer if nobody's in line!
Tried our hand at sailing these tiny Hobie cats. I've been sailing a few times before and know that I'm not good at it. Trying to judge and control the boat with wind is a doomed outcome for me. I tried kitesurfing very briefly in Belize (check the blog!) and immediately knew I sucked. This was no different. The picture isn't the closest, but you can tell how bored Mindy is. We were going like 5 mph. Granted, the dude warned us not to go to the left otherwise it would take us hours to come back in. That was not a risk I was willing to take.
This was not a pose. This was a candid still from the ridiculousness of what shitty sailors Mindy and I are. Okay fine. How shitty a sailor I am. Whatever. Check out the GoPro video at the bottom.
And pause for green smoothies. As mentioned before, the food and drink here was pretty legit. This smoothie felt great for my system considering the other garbage I was stuffing into my body over the course of the trip.
We also went on a snorkel tour about a quick 15-minute boat ride away from the resort. The coral was nice. This is the most action-packed picture I got... which is super amazing if you like yellow fish with blue eyes.
Also included on the tour is a sunset catamaran tour you take to some cliffs about a 30-minute ride away. Of course, there's a bar on the boat...
AND A SLIDE!!!
A cave you can swim into.
The only excursion we purchased was a ride to Rick's Cafe, a famous local tourist spot renown for cliff jumping. Y'all know I had to do that.
The cliff is about 40-feet. They suggest you tip a couple dollars before jumping, but it's not something they monitor very closely. After jumping into the water though, there's a couple con artists down at the bottom that suggest you take a swim into the cave to check out some cool shit. To quote Admiral Akbar, "It's a trap!" They corner you there and force you to pay money to get back out. Not cool, fellas.
Solid crowd for solid view.
Q: What do you think this is?
A: Whatever you say is right! #CuzIDontRemember
Do you want to play another round???
Much respect to the bobsled team paraphernalia all over the airport, including a Bobsled Team restaurant which has "Cool Runnings" continuously on loop. How tired of the movie would you get? Never! Doug E. Doug was the shizzle! "Jamaica... we have a bobsled team!"
Ain't no "water" around here.
I tried to avoid having too many couples photos that would make you want to vomit, but alas, this seemed like a perfect ending. Here's my deal with the all-inclusive - you can try to make it as active as possible, but you really are still going to be trapped at the resort for most of the time, unless you start taking all these excursions. But if you're spending all this cash on excursions - why are you doing the all-inclusive? We packed in as much activity as possible - beach and pool volleyball not pictured - but it still felt like I was on a cruise that was stationary. I much prefer the freedom to roam where you please. That said, if I were to be stuck at any resort at any location - I can certainly think of worse places to be than Negril. The company didn't hurt...
GoPro Video link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=066CHkd2xYk
Go slow. That's the motto on the island of Caye (pronounced "key") Caulker, about a 30-minute water taxi ride from Ambergris Caye ($15US roundtrip). You'll find those two words plastered all around the island like a Where's Waldo of catch phrases. The pace on Caulker is slower than a Peyton Manning jog, but the island's vibe is all the better for it. There's a sense of relaxation and calm to the island. There are no cars and you can seemingly walk the entire island in 45 minutes. There's a good chance you'll catch a waft of weed as you walk around. Not that I condone that, I'm just saying chill goes to another level here. And it's perfect.
Told you "go slow" is everywhere.
Hoops.
Sponge.
This is my dude Terry's Grill. His name is Terry. He's got a grill. Just outside of his home. His restaurant is called Terry's Grill. Brilliant. The menu is small, but everything's crazy fresh. We stumbled upon this spot which is located on the northern end of the island on the western side (the water taxi drops you off on the eastern side). That may sound fire, but that equates to a 3-minute walk. In our effort to find a spot that wasn't too touristy, we stumbled upon Terry's out of hunger desperation. As you can see from the park benches in his yard for seating - his set up screams Caye Caulker. His next door neighbor was cooking up some fresh conch fritters for the family, but offered us some for a $1US each. As you can imagine, they were delicious.
That's Terry grilling up a whole lobster for me. $12.50US, freshly cracked, and covered in a butter garlic spread. Dude is crazy nice. I was trying to tan while waiting for the food (which will take awhile - remember: go slow), and was sweating profusely. But all us New England-transplants know - you have to take advantage of sun whenever you can. So I'm sweating buckets - it's gross and Terry noticed, so he told me to sit in the shade with a cool beer. Even set our food under the shade, thinking I was about to have a heat stroke. I told him - nah, bruh, I'm all good. Just got to get dark right now! It was the thought that counts. Terry even disregarded my weird and unhealthy sun habits and invited us to celebrate his birthday with him that night because it was going to be an epic party. We didn't make it, but in the future I'll say we did and make stuff up about how amazing it was.
Don't know if this pic gave the lobster justice. This mother f'er was amazing.
The view didn't hurt. Go to Terry's Grill: http://www.tripadvisor.com/Restaurant_Review-g291963-d3237337-Reviews-Terry_s_Grill-Caye_Caulker_Belize_Cayes.html
If you don't go diving or on a manatee snorkel tour - which sounds amazing - but only runs certain times of the year - there are still plenty of island tourist activities. Almost anything you can do in the water is available: fishing, sailing, kayaking, stand-up paddleboarding, jet-skiing, tubing, wakeboarding, wake surfing, you get the idea. We opted for the jet ski/wakeboard combo, which set us back a pricey $120US for about an hour-and-a-half - but it was so worth it. The sky was gorgeous and the water was pristine - warm, calm, and jellyfish-free. Jellyfish are dumb.
This is what the view looks like riding into the sunset.
Two times on this trip I realized I'm older than I think I am. This would be the first. We took turns wake boarding for about 80 minutes. That was a lot of boarding - your forearms get beat up, as do your lats and shoulders. As per usual when I travel or in general do anything I love, I try to savor the moment, make it last, and do as much of it as I can. I didn't want to stop riding. I paid for the next day in soreness - getting a tight back, shoulders, moving very slowly, my thumb cramped. You know you're lame when your fingers cramp up. Y'all have been there so shut up! And if you haven't, those days are coming! I tried to pull off a sweet jump to end the day in style, but alas, no luck.
Requisite jet ski selfie. I was focused on getting cool shots here, so who knows if Pete is even on the wakeboard. I mean, I've got priorities. Pete may have been floating alone for a good 20 minutes. Photography takes sacrifice, people.
Dat Caye Caulker life, tho.
I mentioned that Belize isn't much of a beach town, but Caye Caulker is an amazing sea town. When the sun is pounding down on you, and it was when we were there, you'll see a lot of people laying out on the docks. I also saw some people laying out on paddleboards. To me, that would be perfect. Tan on a board, float away, work out if you want, then jump back in. The water is rarely deep, I'd say you could keep your head above water several 100 yards away from shore.
Bask in Caulker's glory. Also impressive about Caulker, if the weather is stormy over Ambergris Caye just 30 minutes away, the weather can be still gorgeous on Caulker. Caulker can take even that to the next level. If the weather is windy on the eastern part of the island, the western part will feel calm and still. So per usual - west is best!
Far less threatening than the mascot for the New Orleans Pelicans. Go ahead and google for those uninitiated.
So a couple days later, I came back to the island with our new friends, and wanted to eat at Terry's again. But Terry doesn't do any breakfast items and the girls were feeling breakfast. So he suggested we drop by Maggie's Sunset Kitchen. Terry delivers again! This place was amazing. Just like Terry's, the restaurant is wrapped around Maggie's home. According to Trip Advisor, Maggie's is the 2nd-ranked restaurant on the island: http://www.tripadvisor.com/Restaurant_Review-g291963-d6517076-Reviews-Maggie_s_Sunset_Dinner-Caye_Caulker_Belize_Cayes.html
This is a lobster omelette with fry jacks. Spot on. I don't remember the price, but you can be assured it was cheap. We also added a papaya smoothie, which if I have to be nitpicky - was a little too yogurty for me. But the omelette was amazing, as were the beans everywhere around the country. I don't normally care for the musical fruit, but every place I ate had amazing beans!
You can go snorkeling on the northern tip of the island. Not much to see - starfish, barracuda, but visibility isn't great, maybe it's because people weren't adhering to the sign above.
To sum: Caye Caulker is all about that chill life. An amazing spot for 1, 2 days. 3, or 4 - you might get antsy. The benefit would be, of course, that you could that many more lobsters from Terry.
Next: Exploring the ancient Mayan ruins of Tikal, and cave tubing on the mainland.
